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I hate being a screw up! - Chronicles of the Destroyer

About I hate being a screw up!

Previous Entry I hate being a screw up! Jun. 23rd, 2012 @ 08:00 pm Next Entry
I've had a very crazy week, just renovating that room and there's still much left to work on. I made it my top priority to get that room renovated into a studio and I'm starting to lose my mind just working on it!

I got a message from the Association of Registered Graphic Designers, they recieved my application and portfolio. They are going to contact me once they have reviewed my portfolio for qualification. I know that I can apply again next year if they don't believe that I'm qualified for this year. However, I really worked hard over the last few weeks putting my portfolio together, and I have even begun studying the material for the written test. If I am qualified, I just have to prepare for the test. It's scary, I always fear that I might fail miserably, no matter how hard I studied.

I can't stand being a screw up! Whenever I post artwork, or fan fiction, or even just a message board or journal post, people would always rudely point out my some flaw with what I do. I normally try making my art and writing as best as I can, even though some things might have a problem that I might have forgotten about, which is embarrassing. However, I have been taking extra care to clean my artwork in Photoshop and use the spell checker on the computer or a dictionary for my writing, so I really can't stand it when people make rude comments on my stuff.

Through out my childhood, I have been teased about being slow, weak, and stupid, which is why I have low confidence in my abilities. I see other people getting tons of compliments on what they do and I can't help but feel jealous that I can't get as many compliments. I would appreciate more compliments on my artwork and writings, but I can't seem to get my art noticed and it drives me crazy. I no longer allow anonymous reviews on my FanFiction.Net stories, because people who review anonymously were rude. Other members hardly review my work, but normally they're polite when they do. I don't blame them for being polite, I don't think they would want nasty comments in return on their own works. Here on LiveJournal and other art sites, I might retaliate if I do ever receive a rude comment ever again, which might make me seem like some monster, so I really hope that it won't happen.
Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: documentaries
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